Masturbatory health warning: intellectual discussion ahead! See previous posts for wank fodder!



But if you're still here, then I have a question for you. Where do you stand on mistresses?

I don't mean the sort you have an illicit affair with (more of them to come). I mean dominant mistresses. Where do you stand on them? Or perhaps you would rather they stand on you!



It seems that the tease community online is broadly governed by the same principles that govern BDSM. There is a mistress, and then there are her minions. Minions work hard to please mistress, who needless to say is less than impressed with their efforts. Minions are naughty, therefore mistress is left with no alternative but to punish them. So it's basically BDSM, but with the added bonus that the minions are not allowed to cum. I do admire their discipline, I really do.

But the question I pose, both to mistresses and to minions, is this: Don't they ever get bored of the script? Don't they ever yearn to take the fantasy off in a completely unexpected direction? And don't they ever miss the fluctuating dynamics of naturally occuring human relationships?



There are 2 things that always put me off BDSM and the BDSM community. One is the mental intensity that is required to sustain it over time, and the other is the rigid rules and regulations that govern these relationships. See, my idea of tease has more to do with the shifting imbalance of power that occurs within any given relationship. When a boss flirts with his secretary, part of the tension is created by the pre-defined roles, but a large part of it is also created by the individuals concerned and by the spontaneity of the moment. Sometimes the boss's power is ascendent because he is the boss; whereas sometimes the secretary's power is ascendent because she's sexier than the boss. I know I've chosen a really obvious example, but I did so to demonstrate just how easy it is to descend into cliche.



My idea of a mistress has more to do with a goddess; literally an Eros figure. I want to be able to worship in peace without the threat of smite or spite. I want to explore her magnificence in my own time and in my own way, without being made to feel like a pathetic little wretch for wanting to do something that is very natural. Yes, I would lick her boots if required...not because I was naughty, but because I genuinely wanted her boots to shine. And while of course I would respect my mistress, I would also like to receive some in return. Not too much to ask, is it?



And above all, I would like to please my mistress. What I mean by that is that I would like to make my mistress cum.

Now that would make me very naughty, wouldn't it?

Maybe that's the one taboo left, and the one taboo that will remain unbroken. But to those who pride themselves on breaking every taboo in the book, I say simply this: It's all in the book.

It seems there is a thriving orgasm denial community on the web, where the woman (usually a mistress) is the denier, and the man (usually submissive, if not a stated submissive) is the denied. It seems that within this context, the roles are very clearly defined. The woman is in charge, period.

Which presents me with a bit of a dilemma, because in my writing there is a lot of roleplay interchange. In some posts the tease is a man, and in others a woman. Sometimes I am using a male narrator, and at other times a woman. And I'm noticing that this seems to put me out of sync with a lot of the tease stuff that's already out there.

So the question I'm asking myself is this: Do I write exclusively orgasm denial stuff aimed at men, for the sake of a target audience? Or do I carry on doing what I'm doing, for the sake of artistic integrity? I think I already know the answer to that question, and I think you do too. But it's a question worth asking, because I think there exists an element of suspicion toward those who do not define the boundaries clearly enough.

I'm getting bored of erotic stories, I have to say. There are many quality erotic stories available online, but the vast majority are failing to hold my attention. Now I struggle with reading large blocks of text on a computer screen anyway, and I take medication which doesn't exactly help. But the trouble with erotic stories is that once you've read enough of them, you can predict where they're going to go. There are only so many ways to describe the same fantasy, unless you're a brilliant writer in which case there are probably a million different ways. But most of us aren't brilliant writers, even if we think we are.

And it seems as though everyone involved in sex thinks that they can write erotica, which simply isn't the case. (American readers won't know who Abi Titmuss is, which is probably a good thing! Let's keep it that way!)

So I'm looking for new ways of writing erotica that are better able to hold the attention. I have one or two ideas which will probably manifest themselves in this blog, but I'm looking for interaction and input from others too.